


See I'm Smiling

by Syrus07



Series: Call Me Crazy [3]
Category: Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken, Tuck Everlasting - Miller/Tysen/Shear & Federle
Genre: Gen, Jesse/Crutchie conspiracy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-05
Updated: 2017-04-05
Packaged: 2018-10-14 23:54:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10546504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Syrus07/pseuds/Syrus07
Summary: Jesse Tuck is and always has been "okay." Why wouldn't he be?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the Last Five Years

Jesse knew his family loved him. Every time he visited his parents, the evidence was in every bone crushing hug and uplifting smile that they gave him. Even Miles, though he could be a little hard on his little brother, obviously cared about him. But sometimes Jesse doubted them.

His only excuse was the way the spoke sometimes. The comments. They were innocent remarks, but after over a hundred years, they started to hurt. They were comments about how he couldn't possibly keep himself out of trouble, or how he was immature, or how he was unreliable, how he was too energetic, too easily excited, **too** **young**. To his family, Jesse would always be a child, and it was starting wear him down.

All of these feelings came up when Jack had come with Jesse to Miles' home in Phillips, Maine. The other man had refused to let him leave New York alone, and once again followed him across the country when it was time to leave Tree Gap. But Miles didn't see this as an act of loyalty. No, it was just another case of Jesse being selfish.

"It's only been six years since you asked Winnie and only six days since she told you no. You can't keep destroying other people's lives for your own—"

That was it. Miles might not have completely deserved what Jesse was about to say, but Jesse had no real regrets in saying it. "For my own what? My own selfishness, my own personal gain, my own terrible egocentric desires? Because I obviously believe that the world revolves around me. I had the Goddamn audacity to ask my friend to drink that stupid water and not leave me. I'm obviously such a human disaster that after almost a century of watching every single person I care about, outside of my parents and brother, die or run away, I asked someone to stay with me. Of course, I'm such a horrible asshole that I couldn't bare to watch another person fade away when I could try to stop it.

"Even after all these years, I can't live my life hidden away from people in complete isolation. I'm still too immature that I need another person in my life so I don't go crazy from my own loneliness. I'm so unreliable that every single time I try to lock myself in some dark place and never speak to any one ever again, I can only go a month or two before I can't take it any more."

He took a ragged breath, but stopped Miles from interjecting. Even with the tears welling up in his eyes, he wasn't finished yet. "No. I'm sorry that the fact that I'm forever a ' _child_ ' stopped me from lying to the person who nursed me back to heath when I was suffering from Polio and saying that I didn't want him to follow me to Tree Gap. I _apologize_ for being too young and self-centered to tell a man who was willing to leave his entire family just so I would be by myself that he would be better off without me in his life. I know how horrible it is, but I just wasn't strong enough to be alone again!"

For over a century, Jesse had been "okay." He smiled and laughed and never let _anyone_ see him hurt. For over a century, he had lied through his teeth and everyone believed it. He wasn't lying now, and Miles finally knew the truth.

"Jesse," he spoke carefully, his voice shaking so hard it might break. "I didn't know."

Jesse attempted a smile, "You weren't supposed to. That was sort of the point."

Miles shook his head, "That doesn't matter. You're my little brother and you have been suffering for decades and instead of being there for you," he paused, regaining the semblance of composure," I've been making it worse."

The Tuck brothers hadn't really had a conversation since the discovered the truth about the spring. They hadn't been able to go four minutes without fighting, but this was about the change everything. " ****I'm sorry ****." It hung in the air as if it were a question: will you forgive me?

"Thank you." Jesse rushed through his words as his tears started to fall. He surged forward, throwing his arms around his brother and holding him tight. Yes.


End file.
